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.my name is distance.

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No one here's fooling anyone.Everyone struggles inside and everyone has lied. [Mar. 14th, 2009|06:09 pm]
Tell the truth for once this time
Knowing we've been through it
Baby's eyes look just like mine
We've both been through it
Tell the truth for once this time
I didn't know how much you would take from me

Time moves faster today
Let's not speak of it
Some things you cannot mend
And I'm watching her sleep
And it's beautiful
Tell me when I won't be seeing you again

You didn't even ask me
If it was alright
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Thank you Stephan [Feb. 20th, 2009|10:47 pm]
I think the ongoing fights we have with people we love, or can’t stop loving, are always about things we are ultimately missing in ourselves.
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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2008|02:22 am]
What the fuck do you know?
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We hear what we want to. [Dec. 7th, 2008|12:05 pm]
Wake up screaming

Cigarette fingers they left a stain
Incriminating notes on a paper chain
Did you ever get the feeling that you've been cheated?
I wanna bust out and not be defeated

They're all strong bones they hold no water
Got the whiplash smile, this gets harder
Time has wound down and the weed's been cached
Because half measures are all half assed

How did we ever end up this way?
And I've gone numb in dissaray
Cultivating our ignorance
Didn't we have some standards once?

I hate you and your cowboys boots
We wanted clever but settled for stupid
You threw it all away so indiscreet
Like a bad boy break he's a drty little cheat

It's a shallow vicious state of mind
Like an angry chump getting dumped online
Gimme back my photos will you
You fucking whore I'll kill you

Don't believe a word
Just keep on breathing
Cause pretty soon that good King George
Will wake up screaming

Our soundtrack is a summer thing
Some don't even replace the stain
Rap stars brag about shooting each other
What ever happend to "Brother, brother?"

We like thugs when they attack
And we like crime when it's black on black
Isn't this you cruel hearted faker?
Isn't this more than you can take?

Don't believe a word
Just walk on by
Cause this moment will pass
And then we all, can all get high

Don't believe it
Just keep on breathing
Oh pretty soon, that good King George
Will wake up screaming

Round up all the big lynch pins
Oh yay for the bullies, they always win
All sensation makes no sense
You've got some insane confidence

I can't find myself, I can't change the station
In this corporate sell-out ill-bidding nation
Scandalize now with such ease
America gave me back my keys

The Senate blows, the solider squeeze
His trigger on fake enemies
We're on the road and all alone
When you come home, bring 'em home...
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I never got to treat George Carlin to lunch... [Jun. 25th, 2008|12:50 pm]
I hope this is what he would have told me about life:

I was in my mother's belly as she sat in the waiting room of the abortionist's office. Dr. Sunshine was his code name. I was fifty feet from the drainpipe, and she saw a painting on the wall that reminded her of her mother, who had recently died. She took that as a sign to have the baby. That's what I call luck.

My father drank and was a bully. For the first five years of my brother's life, my father beat him with a leather-heeled slipper. Had I been subjected to that kind of treatment, all bets are off. His absence saved my life.

My mother had great executive-secretarial jobs in the advertising business and raised two boys during the Second World War. She used to say, "I make a man's salary." That's heroism.

I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.

I don't like authority and regulation, and I do my best to disrespect it, but I do that for myself. It's self-expression only.

Sex without love has its place, and it's pretty cool, but when you have it hand in hand with deep commitment and respect and caring, it's nine thousand times better.

If it's morally wrong to kill anyone, then it's morally wrong to kill anyone. Period.

It's amazing to me that literacy isn't considered a right.

I was arrested for possession and cultivation of marijuana in the early '70s, and it was thrown out. The judge asked me how I felt about it, and I said, "I understand the law, and I want you to know I'll pay the fine, but I cannot guarantee I will not break this law again." He really chewed me out for that.

Censorship that comes from the outside assumes about people an inability to make reasoned choices.

The first thing they teach kids is that there's a God -- an invisible man in the sky who is watching what they do and who is displeased with some of it. There's no mystery why they start that with kids, because if you can get someone to believe that, you can add on anything you want.

I would die for the safety of the people I love.

I wish that we could measure how much the potential of the mind to expand has been stunted by television.

Because of my abuse of drugs, I neglected my business affairs and had large arrears with the IRS, and that took me eighteen to twenty years to dig out of. I did it honorably, and I don't begrudge them. I don't hate paying taxes, and I'm not angry at anyone, because I was complicit in it. But I'll tell you what it did for me: It made me a way better comedian. Because I had to stay out on the road and I couldn't pursue that movie career, which would have gone nowhere, and I became a really good comic and a really good writer.

I stopped voting when I stopped taking drugs. I believe both of those acts are closely related to delusional behavior.

There's no morality in business. It doesn't have a conscience. It has only the cash register. They'll sell you crappy things that you don't need, that don't work, that they won't stand behind. It's a glorified legal form of criminal behavior.

If everybody knew the truth about everybody else's thoughts, there would be way more murders.

There's nothing wrong with high taxes on high income.

Lenny Bruce opened all the doors, and people like Richard Pryor and I were able to walk through them.

Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life.

I think that the assassinations of the Kennedys and Martin Luther King showed that all of the wishing and hoping and holding hands and humming and signing petitions and licking envelopes is a bit futile.

Blacks are deliberately kept down. Poor communities are deliberately underfunded.

I don't think people should get credit for being honest and brave. I think there's a lot of genetic sh** going on there.

Someday they'll find a gene for putting on your overcoat.

There's a pulse in New York, even on the quietest street, on the quietest day. It's full of potential.

If there's ever a golden age of mankind, it will not include men over two hundred pounds beating children who are less than one hundred pounds, and it will not include the deliberate killing of people in a formal setting.

I did something in a previous life that must have been spectacularly good, because I'm getting paid in this life just magnificently, more than one would dare imagine or hope for.
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I feel it around me, I feel it in everything. I am already so much more than this [Apr. 11th, 2008|07:31 pm]
I'm ripping apart at the seams and it's all coming together. I'm becoming something new. Something I can't define. All of these signs pointing me to believe that I'm right where I should be. That this is my path. I've been writing a lot in my journal. So many things to share. Hopefully I'll transfer that to here soon. I already have 48 minutes of video too. Though that will have to wait til I return.

I'm missing everyone terribly, but in a way that has still allowed me to not shed my smile since merging off the Turnpike onto I-75.

I'm alive, and already feeling less ill. It's so strange how quickly I can connect with people. I can already tell that after a week of staying up late and sharing the hours with these people, I won't want to leave. I didn't think that I'd have to go through this again so soon.

49,996 to go and I'm the most happy I've ever been in my entire life.

I want to live out the rest of my days on the road, falling in love and sleeping on best friend's couches. I belong here. I belong everywhere at once.

So it goes.

I'm no longer sad that life is more than who we are.
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(no subject) [Sep. 24th, 2007|09:27 am]
On the first day of Autumn it's hard to avoid a fall.
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(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2007|07:17 pm]
No one knows the real me.
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For some reason this song keeps playing in my head. [May. 27th, 2007|10:30 am]
[music |The Format - The First Single]

I can’t stand to think about
A heart too big it hurts like hell
Oh my god, I gave my best
For three whole years to end like this

Do you want to fall apart?
I can’t stop if you can’t start
Do you want to fall apart?
Well, I could if you can try
And fix what I’ve undone
‘Cause I hate what I’ve become

You know me
Or you think you do
You just don’t seem to see
I’ve been waiting all this time
To be something i can’t define
So let’s cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet
Or something, yeah, something
I just gotta get myself over me

I could stand to do without
All the people I have left behind
What’s the point in going ‘round
When it’s a straight line?
Baby, a straight, straight line

So let’s make a list of who we need
It’s not much, if anything
Make a list of who we need
And we’ll throw it away
‘Cause we don’t need anyone
No, we don’t need anyone
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New song. Wrote it a few days ago. "St. Peter's Key" [May. 25th, 2007|05:41 pm]
We scream and shout
Our flame burning out
Our fire almost gone

Our lies distress
Our S...O...S...
As night breaks into dawn

At the wake they'll try to say
That we were, too weak to stay
And we'll take it on the jaw

But the one thing they don't know
Is while romance steals the show
Love can't conquer all

And as the credits start to roll
We'll look back on this and know
That when the sunsets all turn gray
It would be suicide to stay
But we didn't know

When we show up to the gates
About 45 minutes late
They’ll say “You’re never on time”

But we were late for the funeral too
And if it was up to me, not you
Then Peter would be right

And as the credits start to roll
We'll look back on this and know
That when the sunsets all turn gray
It would be suicide to stay
But we didn't know

And as the credits start to roll
And the curtains are pulled closed
And the exit doors give way
It would be suicide to stay
But we didn't know
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2006|09:06 pm]
Remember... The pill ain't gonna keep yo dick from falling off.
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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2006|05:40 pm]
What happened to the grass growing high around our tombstones?
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Jesus Christ. This pretty much sums up how I feel this very instant. [Dec. 14th, 2006|02:29 am]
[music |The Devil and God are raging inside of me.]

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
We've turned to the hate factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
We've turned to the hate factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine...
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The Devil and God are raging inside of me. [Nov. 18th, 2006|06:24 pm]
I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being careful.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well Take me out tonight,
The ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray a God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I kissed.
Now I made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.
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This is why I watch Lost. [Oct. 31st, 2006|04:31 pm]
"There are certain things I believe in – like Good and Evil. The hard part is, you don’t only choose just once... most of us have to keep choosing, day in, day out. Year in, year out. Good or bad, which way am I going to go? What if there is no purgatory? What if there is no heaven? No hell either? No afterlife at all. This is our chance to get it right. First chance, last chance, only chance. But that’s exciting, beautiful, right? Our work in this life is to choose good over evil. To be fair. To be kind. And there is a payoff, though it doesn’t have to do with harps and wings. The payoff is peace of mind. That’s what redemption really is."

- Bad Twin, Gary Troup
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And for now I'll put my head onto paper, because ink will immortalize my soul. [Aug. 23rd, 2006|02:52 am]
I'm not sure where this Broadway life will take me
Just an actor reading lines and faking scenes
There's no substitute for moments left undamaged
But do the ends really justify the means?

I'm sinking further into fear and disenchantment
Too fucking scared to know just when I'll be let go
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Not my voice. [Aug. 4th, 2006|12:33 pm]
The United States Senate failed to get the 60 votes necessary to raise the federal minimum wage from $5.15 an hour, where it has been stuck, despite inflation, for more than ten years. How much money do you make an hour? Don't you feel like you're worth a little more? Paying someone a wage which they cannot support themselves or their families on is Un-American. Let your voice be heard...
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(no subject) [Jul. 13th, 2006|01:16 am]
I'm rollin' with Sag.
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We can't live this way forever. [May. 27th, 2006|10:59 am]
I can't stay and I cannot wait, and I'm grateful to whistle past a grave yard gate, the flicker fade is getting stronger, like when the days start getting longer, I got the rhythm down now in the places we warred, the golden gate is like my diving board, and life is pointless but what's so wrong with that?
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And it hit me. [May. 14th, 2006|12:43 pm]
All I'm going to have pretty soon is a bunch of songs about all the lives I've fucked myself out of being able to enjoy.
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