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Who am I? And how, I wonder, will this story end? [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
.my name is distance.

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I feel it around me, I feel it in everything. I am already so much more than this [Apr. 11th, 2008|07:31 pm]
.my name is distance.
I'm ripping apart at the seams and it's all coming together. I'm becoming something new. Something I can't define. All of these signs pointing me to believe that I'm right where I should be. That this is my path. I've been writing a lot in my journal. So many things to share. Hopefully I'll transfer that to here soon. I already have 48 minutes of video too. Though that will have to wait til I return.

I'm missing everyone terribly, but in a way that has still allowed me to not shed my smile since merging off the Turnpike onto I-75.

I'm alive, and already feeling less ill. It's so strange how quickly I can connect with people. I can already tell that after a week of staying up late and sharing the hours with these people, I won't want to leave. I didn't think that I'd have to go through this again so soon.

49,996 to go and I'm the most happy I've ever been in my entire life.

I want to live out the rest of my days on the road, falling in love and sleeping on best friend's couches. I belong here. I belong everywhere at once.

So it goes.

I'm no longer sad that life is more than who we are.
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(no subject) [Sep. 24th, 2007|09:27 am]
.my name is distance.
On the first day of Autumn it's hard to avoid a fall.
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(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2007|07:17 pm]
.my name is distance.
No one knows the real me.
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For some reason this song keeps playing in my head. [May. 27th, 2007|10:30 am]
.my name is distance.
[music |The Format - The First Single]

I can’t stand to think about
A heart too big it hurts like hell
Oh my god, I gave my best
For three whole years to end like this

Do you want to fall apart?
I can’t stop if you can’t start
Do you want to fall apart?
Well, I could if you can try
And fix what I’ve undone
‘Cause I hate what I’ve become

You know me
Or you think you do
You just don’t seem to see
I’ve been waiting all this time
To be something i can’t define
So let’s cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet
Or something, yeah, something
I just gotta get myself over me

I could stand to do without
All the people I have left behind
What’s the point in going ‘round
When it’s a straight line?
Baby, a straight, straight line

So let’s make a list of who we need
It’s not much, if anything
Make a list of who we need
And we’ll throw it away
‘Cause we don’t need anyone
No, we don’t need anyone
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New song. Wrote it a few days ago. "St. Peter's Key" [May. 25th, 2007|05:41 pm]
.my name is distance.
We scream and shout
Our flame burning out
Our fire almost gone

Our lies distress
Our S...O...S...
As night breaks into dawn

At the wake they'll try to say
That we were, too weak to stay
And we'll take it on the jaw

But the one thing they don't know
Is while romance steals the show
Love can't conquer all

And as the credits start to roll
We'll look back on this and know
That when the sunsets all turn gray
It would be suicide to stay
But we didn't know

When we show up to the gates
About 45 minutes late
They’ll say “You’re never on time”

But we were late for the funeral too
And if it was up to me, not you
Then Peter would be right

And as the credits start to roll
We'll look back on this and know
That when the sunsets all turn gray
It would be suicide to stay
But we didn't know

And as the credits start to roll
And the curtains are pulled closed
And the exit doors give way
It would be suicide to stay
But we didn't know
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2006|09:06 pm]
.my name is distance.
Remember... The pill ain't gonna keep yo dick from falling off.
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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2006|05:40 pm]
.my name is distance.
What happened to the grass growing high around our tombstones?
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Jesus Christ. This pretty much sums up how I feel this very instant. [Dec. 14th, 2006|02:29 am]
.my name is distance.
[music |The Devil and God are raging inside of me.]

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
We've turned to the hate factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
We've turned to the hate factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine...
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The Devil and God are raging inside of me. [Nov. 18th, 2006|06:24 pm]
.my name is distance.
I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being careful.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well Take me out tonight,
The ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray a God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I kissed.
Now I made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.
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This is why I watch Lost. [Oct. 31st, 2006|04:31 pm]
.my name is distance.
"There are certain things I believe in – like Good and Evil. The hard part is, you don’t only choose just once... most of us have to keep choosing, day in, day out. Year in, year out. Good or bad, which way am I going to go? What if there is no purgatory? What if there is no heaven? No hell either? No afterlife at all. This is our chance to get it right. First chance, last chance, only chance. But that’s exciting, beautiful, right? Our work in this life is to choose good over evil. To be fair. To be kind. And there is a payoff, though it doesn’t have to do with harps and wings. The payoff is peace of mind. That’s what redemption really is."

- Bad Twin, Gary Troup
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